Friday August 26th 3011 Edition (Proverbs 17:22)
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Pastor’s Note: Wishing all our sports team the very best of luck tonight – hope everyone has a wonderful and restful weekend and we’d love to see you Sunday – remember you need a Church, and a Church needs you – blessings
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For the kids, or, the kid in all of us:
Q: What
country
makes you
shiver?
A: Chile.
:o)
Q: What has
a lot of
keys but can
not open any
doors?
A: A piano.
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Today’s Groaner:
When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
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Today’s Punny Things:
If they didn’t have Ringo, they’d have been the Beatless.
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Today’s Not So Trivial Bible Trivia Question:
WHO was
Deborah's
husband?!
(Answer below)
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Today’s Laffs:
A young
couple had
their first
baby. When
it was one
year
old, it
hadn't said
a word; one
and a half
years, still
not
a word. The
parents took
the baby to
a
pediatrician,
who
said,
"Everything's
perfectly
normal. Just
be patient."
And so it
went until
the child's
25th month.
They were
all
having
breakfast
and the
child turned
to his
mother and
said, "This
oatmeal is
too lumpy!"
The parents
were amazed,
and asked,
"Why haven't
you talked
before?"
The child
replied, "Up
till now,
things have
gone very
well."
:o)
Eight and
a half
months very
pregnant
with twins,
I was used
to getting
nervous
glances from
strangers.
But I never
realized how
imposing I
was until my
husband and
I went out
to dinner at
a new
restaurant.
The hostess
sat us at
our table,
took one
long look at
my stomach
and asked,
"Would you
like me to
get you a
high chair
just in
case?"
:o)
At the
police
station,
Bubba
explained to
the police
officer why
his cousins
shot him.
"Well,"
Bubba began,
"We wuz
havin' a
good time,
when my
cousin Ray
picked up
his shotgun
and said,
'Hey, der ya
fellows
wanna go
hunting?'"
"And then
what
happened?"
the officer
interrupted.
"From what I
remember,"
Bubba said,
"I stood up
and said,
'Sure, I'm
game.'"
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Today’s Funny Things Kids Say:
Every Sunday, without fail Joe took his niece and nephew to church. After church he would stop at the bakery across the street for hard rolls and then cook a nice breakfast at home for the entire family. One Sunday Joe's mother, who lived with them, was very ill and Joe was afraid to leave her alone for even the hour or so. Therefore he dropped the kids off at church leaving strict instructions that Brian, 3, was to mind his older sister Pamela, 7, and not leave the church until Joe came back for them. When Joe returned, Pamela was furious. She said she would NEVER go to church with Brian again! Pamela explained, "Everyone was quiet as the priest was preparing communion and suddenly Brian started singing ~Tiny bubbles, in the wine, makes ya feel happy, makes ya feel fine.'" Pamela said when she told Brian to be quiet he just started singing louder! Joe wrote, "The Sunday night before, the legendary Hawaiian singer Don Ho was on the Ed Sullivan Show and I guess he made quite an impression on Brian." - Uncle Joe Stanford of New Haven, Connecticut
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Today’s
Inspiration
(My Child,
You're Not
Damaged
Goods)
Damaged
goods, My
child,
you're not
Just in case
you have
forgot
I made you,
just as you
are
To Me, you
are My
shining star
I love you
child, you
are Mine
You are the
branch, I am
the Vine
Though
challenged
may your
body be
Know that
you are
loved by Me
Though man
may spurn
you, turn
away
By your side
I'll always
stay
Broken body,
battered
soul
I alone can
make you
whole
Ask and I
will come to
you
I will help
and guide
you through
In My arms,
you are
secure
Day by day,
I'll help
you endure
When you
hurt, know I
hurt too
See I am
here, to see
you through
You are My
precious,
betrothed
bride
So come to
Me and in Me
hide
Just in case
you've ever
forgot
Precious
child,
damaged
goods you're
not
- Debbie Preuss
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Today’s
Bible Verse:
Psalm 103:8
The LORD is
compassionate
and
gracious,
slow to
anger,
abounding in
love.
NIV
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Today’s Thought:
Christianity
is a
religion of
paradoxes.
The way up
is down; the
way to get
is to give;
the way to
be first is
to be last
and the way
to live is
to die.
~ Anonymous
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Until next time, may God bless – Pastor Dan
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Sponsor: St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, Hazard KY – ‘Where We Share the Peace of Christ’
Pastor: Danny J Stacy, (606)854-3367/436-5619
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Visit us on the web at: www.saintpaulslutheran.com – you can find out more about us there along with links to several FREE Worship resources and more
Please attend the Church of your choice
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Answer to Today’s Bible Trivia Question:
Lapidoth.
Now Deborah,
a
prophetess,
the wife of
Lapidoth,
was
judging
Israel at
that time.
Judges 4:4